First of all I want to dispel some horrible rumours by many of my only reader: “this blog is just one big paid advertisement”. I can assure every reader of this blog including its only reader that I am not being paid to do this blog. I do it because I try to explore a strange concept – procrastination. Apparently writing a blog must be one of the highest forms of procrastination.
I recently learned about this term. I’ve never actually practised it. Procrastination implies putting off important tasks but fortunately I never do anything. I decided to dig deeper… here’s what I found.
People and students are especially vulnerable to procrastination. Since my only reader is a student I decided to explore the problem from his or her… ok his viewpoint. Students have a love-hate relationship with procrastination – which means they love and hate procrastination at the same time. If you allow, I would like to indulge in a series of metaphors. Think of the act of procrastination as a kind of purgatory – stuck between the hell of doing something productive and the heavenly bliss of doing fun stuff. You’re stuck in a nether world instead of someone’s nether region. And the four horsemen of procrastination are as follows (in order of increasing thriftlessness).
1. YouTube
2. Facebook
3. Angry Birds
4. Going to Lectures
Many students regret their procrastination prowess – not realizing that procrastination is the only thing they’re good at. I can’t count the times when graduates blame procrastination for their less than stellar lives – because there weren’t any. But if they did, they might say something like: “I am such a worthless “has-been” when I was such a promising “could-have”. Don’t worry, I am here to help you overcome these four demons and even use them to your advantage.
1. YouTube – formerly known as catfunnylol.com, this site is responsible for another lost generation. I believe the best way to avoid procrastination on YouTube is not watching stuff on YouTube. But I guess you want something simpler. Then immediately delete all browsers except Internet Explorer. IE turns every YouTube video into a slide-show titled “drying paint”. Kiss your procrastination goodbye.
Benefits of YouTube – you can become a Z-list celebrity by doing your own show; just have to stand out among the other 48 hours of videos uploaded every minute.
2. Facebook – formerly known as myspace.com and future checkbook.com, this site is responsible for the continuing downturn in the developed world (case in point: China has no FB). The first remedy for FB procrastination is not to have any ‘friends’ on your profile. But if you want to have friends then ‘add’ only those you really know: shouldn’t be more than 20-25 people if you’re honest with yourself. Then ‘add’ some really annoying relatives to spy on you and post awkward things on your wall. If all goes well your FB procrastination will be cut down on average by two hours a day.
Positive effects of FB – instead of spying on your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/best friend’s mom why not make an album (like Adele) expressing your pain and frustration. I suggest the names “Someone ‘Like’ You” and “Rolling in the News Feed” for the first two singles.
3. Angry Birds – or the awkward moment when you publish a third volume of Angry Birds fan fiction. Nothing more to say than: “Kids, don’t do drugs”. Or better yet: “Drug, don’t do kids”.
Positive effects of Angry Birds: well I guess you can buy stock in Nokia before it is bought by Angry Birds maker Rovio.
4. Going to Lectures – or the most deceitful type of procrastination. After playing Angry Birds four hours daily for two years you might get the creeping feeling of wasted time. The same cannot be said about lectures. They tend to be disguised as academic work even though most students only sit, sleep/daydream/browse/text/eat/think about the next lecture – often all at the same time. Now I am not encouraging students to skip lectures because most of them already do that. I suggest that students take notes only on interesting (to them) modules and voice record the boring lectures.
Positive effects: you can sell your lecture notes through the-notebook.co.uk and earn money (yes, plural form).
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